One of Those

Do you ever have those days? Those days you just don’t fully feel like you? My whole week has been like that. I came off of the incredible “high” that is “retreat weekend”. Even more so this year because I gave my youth an even more in depth view of me. And that felt liberating, and honest, and 99.5% true to me, or the me I am trying to be…I think it’s really the “me” at the core of me. If that makes sense.

I had a day to recoup, and then back to the office. There’s always work to be done, never a lack. Some days that means looking ahead and planning for 6 or 12 months down the road. Other times it means planning for the following Sunday. Sometimes I get to be super creative (these are my favorite days–could you guess it?). And other days are full of mundane tasks (no less important, just doesn’t light me up the same way).

I had emails to write, events to schedule and, admittedly, events to tweak, change and reschedule. I had resources to prep, teachers to line up, trainings to dream for and budgeting to do. Some of it was super exciting. Some of it was less so. I love how my job has helped; and though I don’t always see it, how it continues to help; me grow. These days/week’s of “not feeling like me” sometimes make me question: my faith, my vocation, my relationships, my habits.

That can seem scary, but I’ve come to embrace the fact that the times it creeps up me, this feeling allows me a wonderful self-assessment period. To make sure my life is going in a positive direction: one of growth, and challenge, and general positivity. A direction I like and one I think God would be proud of.

As many of you know, I’ve started a new workout routine. I joined a gym the end of December and I’ve gone almost every day of 2018. Let me just start by saying this was, and is, a huge thing for me. I’ve always been too lazy to pay to workout. But I committed. And I thought for sure I’d be too lazy to get my butt moving…but I’m doing it. It’s not always the same amount of time, or the same machines used or exercises done. But I am listening to my body and figuring out what keeps me motivated and excited, and how I can help my body rest even while still being active.

Yesterday was a HUGE accomplishment for me. I did 60 minutes on the elliptical. 60!! Usually I’m a 30 minute workout and done type of girl. But I stretched myself to 45 minutes on Tuesday and wasn’t bored/tired. So last night, when I went at 8:30 to the gym I told myself it was a night of pushing myself. At about the 40 minute mark I could feel myself start dragging. “I can totally stop…40 minutes is good…”. But nope. I persevered and made it all the way to 60 minutes. My legs felt a little like JELLO, but they don’t feel horrible today so that’s a plus.

I am continuing to look for more ways I can “create” and incorporate healthy habits into my daily routine. Looks like this fitness thing just might stick.

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