…to those who wait. Or so they say. And maybe it’s just my time (cue Goonies “it’s our time down here” quote). If you’ve been following along this journey for any amount of time you know that I’ve ridden the dating roller coaster along the tracks for a while now. Lots of twist and turns and being thrown for a loop. It’s been great at points. And grueling at others.
About three months ago I made a promise to myself that my previous relationship was in the last (once and for all). I somehow pulled myself out of the trance and admitted how toxic and one sided it had always been. And even though I’d sworn it off before, I knew it was beyond time to make this time stick. Around the same time I was graduating, accepting a new job in my ideal school district, and starting to consider a new home purchase. Things were falling into place it seemed. But my love life was still pretty stagnant. For the millionth time I put myself back on apps. I haven’t really enjoyed the swipe culture but I also know that meeting someone organically wasn’t currently in my cards. But companionship was something I knew I needed to my core. I had to keep doing the work and putting myself out there if I wanted anything to come about.
And then something happened. I met this person who was so different than anyone I’d ever dated before. It was eye opening to the fact that there were people like me: slightly jaded but hopeful, intelligent, goofy, considerate, diligent, open, and committed to growth (individually and as a partnership). It’s weird knowing that something could exist in the world and never being able to find it. And then one day you do find it and realize how lucky you are.
Don’t get me wrong: no one is perfect. People have quirks and things they need to learn. And everyone makes mistakes or does things they regret. But I am thankful to have connected with someone who recognizes their own flaws, is working to better themselves, seeks to learn, remains curious, and stays honest and open with me. It’s way more than I could ask for; and at times feels like more than I deserve. Though there haven’t been “bumps” exactly, there have been difficult conversations, and forcing ourselves to show up as our most vulnerable selves. There’s also been endless laughter and goofiness (I mean have you met me?), insightful conversation, and seeing each other.
I’m not sure where this journey will go. There are lots of unknowns. But things feel positive, there is little to no pressure, and we just continue to move at a speed of “one day at a time”. I’m unbelievably happy. And for that, I am so grateful. Sometimes you can’t even put into words what something (or someone) means to you. But shit, I’ll spend every day trying. The people around you deserve to know you love them, and how much you love them.
This. This post right here. Proof of the growth that has happened in the last 3-5 years. I wouldn’t be here, or be this version of me without everything I’ve been through. I wouldn’t be able to appreciate my relationship the same way if something had been different. But thank G-d for all the slogging I’ve done. I’d say it’s been worth it.