betterment

Every Intention

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I have had every intention of writing a post the last few days. I’ve had several different thoughts and paths, it hasn’t been a lack of subject. But I have stayed true to my commitment. I’ve been lazy and apathetic. And, in some ways, shows me my own humanity. There is a lack of perfection. There is a lack of always being or doing right.

So I wrote now. I make the change now.

Music has been a constant theme of my last week. Singer/songwriter, folk, Americana, indie: songs I’ve grown up on, and songs that hold family importance, and songs that defined my college experience at school and in the summers. Music has been, is, and always will be a constant thread for me.

It soothes me, it grounds me, it pushes me to be better and to create. I feel it in my blood and in my bones and at the very core of me. It helps me be me.

Roll Call

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My word for 2018 is “create”.  I haven’t been doing as much of it as I want but here are somethings I have completed or are in the works:

  • Baby Onesies–completed and gifted
  • “welcome” door hanging–completed and hung
  • Mix CDs–completed and gifted
  • Mug Christmas gifts–completed and belatedly gifted
  • Tshirt quilt–in process
  • Boho bag–in process
  • Collage Birthday card–completed and sent
  • Wrap Pants–in process (for years now)
  • Tag Blankets–in thought
  • Falkor Plush “teddy bear”–in thought

It doesn’t seem like a lot, but at the same time it seems like a ton!  Here’s to holding myself accountable and continuing to create.  Crafty creations are just one piece of my “create” resolution.

One of Those

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Do you ever have those days? Those days you just don’t fully feel like you? My whole week has been like that. I came off of the incredible “high” that is “retreat weekend”. Even more so this year because I gave my youth an even more in depth view of me. And that felt liberating, and honest, and 99.5% true to me, or the me I am trying to be…I think it’s really the “me” at the core of me. If that makes sense.

I had a day to recoup, and then back to the office. There’s always work to be done, never a lack. Some days that means looking ahead and planning for 6 or 12 months down the road. Other times it means planning for the following Sunday. Sometimes I get to be super creative (these are my favorite days–could you guess it?). And other days are full of mundane tasks (no less important, just doesn’t light me up the same way).

I had emails to write, events to schedule and, admittedly, events to tweak, change and reschedule. I had resources to prep, teachers to line up, trainings to dream for and budgeting to do. Some of it was super exciting. Some of it was less so. I love how my job has helped; and though I don’t always see it, how it continues to help; me grow. These days/week’s of “not feeling like me” sometimes make me question: my faith, my vocation, my relationships, my habits.

That can seem scary, but I’ve come to embrace the fact that the times it creeps up me, this feeling allows me a wonderful self-assessment period. To make sure my life is going in a positive direction: one of growth, and challenge, and general positivity. A direction I like and one I think God would be proud of.

As many of you know, I’ve started a new workout routine. I joined a gym the end of December and I’ve gone almost every day of 2018. Let me just start by saying this was, and is, a huge thing for me. I’ve always been too lazy to pay to workout. But I committed. And I thought for sure I’d be too lazy to get my butt moving…but I’m doing it. It’s not always the same amount of time, or the same machines used or exercises done. But I am listening to my body and figuring out what keeps me motivated and excited, and how I can help my body rest even while still being active.

Yesterday was a HUGE accomplishment for me. I did 60 minutes on the elliptical. 60!! Usually I’m a 30 minute workout and done type of girl. But I stretched myself to 45 minutes on Tuesday and wasn’t bored/tired. So last night, when I went at 8:30 to the gym I told myself it was a night of pushing myself. At about the 40 minute mark I could feel myself start dragging. “I can totally stop…40 minutes is good…”. But nope. I persevered and made it all the way to 60 minutes. My legs felt a little like JELLO, but they don’t feel horrible today so that’s a plus.

I am continuing to look for more ways I can “create” and incorporate healthy habits into my daily routine. Looks like this fitness thing just might stick.