One month to go. Less than really. And it doesn’t seem any more real than it did a year ago. There’s this strange time between 2/22 and 3/18 that will always leave me in a haze of wonderment.
I talked to one of my many “sisters” today. She brings much solace to my soul through her insight, mystical soul, and youngest camaraderie. Her words today soothed me, enlivened the song in my heart, and reminded me to keep watch.
No one will understand exactly what my grief is like. No one will understand perfectly my journey and purpose on this earth. But several know pieces. And I am thankful for how those pieces and those people are bound together. So when I feel sad or lost or without hope or direction I still have places to turn.
The words of others are just amplifying her words. They are bringing new insight, shedding new light, and constant reminders of her presence and being in the here and now. Today I am thankful for the thin places where I can hear her, where I can feel her, where I know she is reaching out fully of laughter and grace.
I am thankful for the memories other people share so I can continue getting to know her. So that when I am too tired to grasp on to the fragments of her there are still pages flooding in that keep her story in print.
I can remember the joy and wonder she had 30 years ago of being a mom again and welcoming you into this world. May this year and new decade be filled with many blessings and opportunities.
Blessings and opportunities. These are things I can create.
When your sister is in a monologue production you go and support her. When the monologue production is “Coming Out” monologue, you don’t bat an eye, you go because your sister is your sister—love is love.
Tuesday night I had the opportunity to see one of my favorite people in the world share a very powerful story with a group of onlookers: some she knew some she didn’t. This story was about one of her coming out stories. It was honest, vulnerable, hilarious and heart-wrenching all at the same time. I am so thankful that I was able to experience all of the stories Shared that evening. It was eye-opening, enlightening, depressing, and uplifting. I am especially grateful for the ability to support my sister.
Many of you are probably scratching your heads. “Sister coming out?” Clarification: this sister is a sister of the heart. She babysat us when we were young, and has been a part of our family ever since. Like myself, she is the youngest child in her nuclear family and I identify a lot with her. She’s someone I look up to, someone who inspires me with her strength and someone who I am blessed to have had in my life over the years.
Life isn’t always easy. Sometimes our family is chosen instead of blood. Sometimes those who “get us”, accept us for us, and love us conditionally are not those who are obligated to because those who are supposed to love us have shut that door. That’s hard for me. I don’t close doors easily. I harbor pain and deeply feel the emotions of others, but I give and give and give—often times more chances than should be allowed. Even though it hurts sometimes, I love this part of me. Because it reminds me that everyone has a story—we need only listen and allow others a space to share and be vulnerable.