Sometimes we need change in our lives–for any myriad of reasons–some for good reasons, some for sad reasons, some because we are bored. I have found myself in the season of change recently. I’m trying to take better care of myself: regular hair cuts, working out several times a week, drinking more water, being more intentional about my relationships. It can be difficult, especially at this time of year because it’s my “busy” time at work.
I’m learning more and more that I need to allow myself time for me, for relaxation, for growth, and for being the best that I can be.
I recognize I’m not perfect. Sometimes I beat myself up for it though. I don’t like failure, even though it helps me grow. I, admittedly, don’t like being wrong–but I’m getting better at admitting when I am wrong. And I really don’t like disappointing other people, but I am learning to let that go and not let it consume me to the point of forfeiting myself.
The last month or so has provided clarity to some situations, and direction for dreams and goals that I have. Those things are still developing–and could be for a while, that’s a part of growth. It’s scary and exciting, but I think all change has tinges of both. We take risks. We try new things. And we rely on God, knowing he is with us through it all. And ultimately we can’t run away from what He calls us to do.
So I’ll keep searching, discerning, and working toward making me my best self. Another year older, more perspective, and lots of revelations. It feels good to make me my priority, even though a small piece of me will always feel guilty about it.